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English Funny SMS

1st Man: Which Is The Best Month
To Get Married..?

2nd Man: Octemb ruary

1st Man: Don't Be Silly,
There Is No Such Month

2nd Man: Exactly!

After an accident,
A v.angry driver: I showed u d headlights
& told u 2 go by side.

Santa: I also started d wipers
& said No, no..No no. :D

In a Party A Handsome guy askd a gal,"r u going 2 dance?"

She felt so happy & said-"yes"

& d guy said-"dats gud,so can i hav ur chair?" :D

Newtons Universal Law Of Love:

Every boy on earth is attracted towards a girl
with a force directly proportional to the figure of the girl
Inversely proportional to strength of her brother..!!

Funny Truth-

No one is as ugly as their driving license/ identity card picture,

nor as good-looking as their facebook profile pic..! :D ;)

A Sweet demand by a kid.
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked- what happen son?
Kid said-I cant adjust with your wife anymore,
I want my own.

In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera..

A successful man is one
who makes more money
his wife can spend.

This Funny fact always happen wid me:
Study for one Hour-
No One sees.!
But pick up mobile just 4 a second,
& Mom/Dad enters d room! ;)

A Boy Was Going With His Girl Friend

Friend Asked : Who Is She?

Boy : My Cousin.

The Frend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin.! :D

Beautiful flowers die....
Nice stories end......
Lovely songs fade........ ..
Momeries are forgotten... ..
All things comes to end.....
But people like YOU always remain forever

In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it's legs only?
Sardar:I don't know.
Examiner:You failed, what's your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name

Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking‚¦

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:-

Thats why boys go to college

Love is possible after friendship
friendship is not possible after love
medicines work before death
later nothing can be cured....!!!

God thought that since
he couldn't b everywhere
he made a mother.

Then devil thought that
he couldn't be everywhere
he made a mother-in-law.

1st ever intelligent sardar.

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?

sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything:-)

Whos hot... Its U,
Charming... Its U,
Sweetest.. Its U,
Intelligent... Its U,
Whos dear & near friend... Its U
Whos a liar.. Its me

I have lots of jokes in my inbox,
But I can't send you all of them,
It will take a lot of time,
So I'm sending you just 1 joke
"You are so beautiful"

American:-Dogs can find Bombs in my country.
Japanese:-Fish can play Ball in my country.
Pakistani:-Thats not a matter,Monkey can read SMS in my country...

Cricket is getting excited day by day with the introduction of ICL n T20...

Same rules should be applied in Examz!

(1) Exams Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.

(2) Power Play - No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.

(3) Cheer Leaders - To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.

(4) Strategic Time-Out - Time For Students For Discussion.

(5) Super Over - Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question. :-)

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.

Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.

Q: What did the gangster's son
tell his dad when he failed his examination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours
but I never told them anything."

Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"

In a school function

A K.G boy started closing his ears with
both hands,
when girl was about to start her speech
Others asked him Why r you closing your ears?

He replied: Dude, She is my Girlfriend n She is
gonna start her speech with
My Dear Brothers n Sisters :-)

Positive thinking is like.....
U r standing on the middle of the road.........
suddenly a crow beats on your head....
But you remain calm...
and thanks to God...
that cows dont fly:)

Patient : What are the chances
of my recovering doctor?

Doctor : One hundred percent.
Medical records show that
nine out of ten people die of the disease you have.

Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died.

Teacher : Which is more important to us,
the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.

Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night
when we need it but the sun gives us light
only in the day time when we dont need it.

Why Men n Women Don't Understand Each Other?
God Gave Good Brains To Men
Good Hearts To Women


Men Use Their Hearts
Women Use Their Brains

Aftr engagemnt!
Now stop looking at girls,u r commited now!

Oho what do u mean,
if i m on diet,
that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . . :-D

Rich Man: Today, I have 14 Cars,
18 Bikes, 4 Bungalows, 3 Farm Houses

What do you have?

Poor Man: I have a boy

whos Girl Friend is
Your Daughter..!

You know why women starts with 'W'...
because all questions start with "W".. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
Finally Wife..!!!

GIRL:My heart is like a mobile
and you are the sim card

BOY:I m very happy. . .
Gal:dont b too happy. . .
If I get a new offer
I will change the sim card..!

Examiner:y r u under tension?
Did u forget admit card,ID,or calculator?

studnt:No Sir!
By mistake i have brought tomorrow
exam's pharray (Cheating material) today:-)

Hey U Know
Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1
U Know Why??
If she accept its your luck
otherwise just tell April Foooooll.

A ThermoMeter is n0t the 0nly thing
that gets a "DEGREE" without having a "BRAIN"...! :p

A silent msg f0r all studnts;-)

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend
"U r my Best Friend"

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
"U r my Best Wife?"


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